officialdashconballpit:

Hi guys. I know a lot of you followed me to see jokes about dashcon, but tumblr is threatening to deactivate my account unless i get 17k followers by 10pm. If you follow me, I’ll let you look at my blog for a whole hour. Please, even just one follower could help me.




This is a $2 glass of juice




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lizawithazed:

sometimes you see a pun so artfully constructed you just have to stand back in awe.

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"

I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.


"

-  David Wong, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person  (via coolgrandpa)

OK. That was a great perspective.

(Source: violetmaps, via unfortunatemishappenings)




2000-magic-things:

Hello July on We Heart It.

(via dearfunnyliving)




50 shades of zay #tan #sowega #itshot




I think we nailed it… Get it?

(Source: polyp.org.uk, via cartoonpolitics)




I personally wouldn’t even be mad.




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